This is pretty sharp, man! Solid job, I hope you make it to the next round :D
A few of my main criticisms:
-Weirdly, one of the things that bothered me the most were the drum fills at 0:37, 0:50, 1:54, and 2:07. Not only did they feel out of character of the piece overall, which in general was kind of laid-back with respect to rhythm, but also they were exactly the same every time. (I'm also assuming they were loops, which I'm not a fan of to be honest.) The mid-drop tom fills were cliché but not as objectionable in my opinion
-In general I though the bare-bones, no-bells-and-whistles feel of the track was pretty neat, but a couple moments felt a little too empty for my taste, especially the first few measures after the brass stabs at 1:30 and 0:13 (which were sick by the way) and the moment after the first drop (I know there's that quiet arp but it's just not enough for me)
-1:44 was s w e e t but for some reason that specific bass felt too loud for me in comparison to everything else in the drops (again at 1:51 and 2:00)
-The ending was kinda neat but overall didn't feel very final. I was missing some giant chord resolve with the choir and brass and everything, not just some growls and a bitcrushed evil laugh
-There wasn't really a melody like, at all, anywhere, but I can overlook that considering the genre
All that said, I actually thought it was really cool, I just felt like it had some moments of potential that weren't quite realized. Again, I think a more melodic section between the drops (a real melody, not just chords, and longer) would have also given the song more interest value and also duration because it's kind of short.
Anyway, nice work, and good luck in the next NGUAC phase if that happens
Thanks man i really appreciate it that you took ur time and went through the whole song and constructively crticised it, i really appreciate that. And yeah I agree there were some points where i really didnt add to much or i was kinda lazy or felt like i had to finish the track asap. Ill try to keep improving!!!!
This was neat to listen to, pretty different from your house stuff.
Great job at capturing the mood— overall, it felt very dark and cold, which based on the tags is what I assume you were going for. You had good spotlight moments for several different instruments: particularly, I liked the violin writing at 1:39, the use of horns at 0:39 and 0:49, and the flute at 0:59. The piano was a nice touch as well, even though I would've been maybe a little bored if I were the pianist playing it. Plus, I always like staccato strings (as you know haha)
Some medium-to-small issues I had: The volume increase at 0:39 was definitely too abrupt for me— a smoother transition might have been nice. And proportionally, the first 20 seconds were significantly too quiet compared to the rest.
The structure seemed a bit weird to me— the "biggest" moment in the entire piece was the section immediately after the intro, and then it sort of slowly dwindled and died, which is kind of cool in its own way, but ultimately felt a bit anticlimactic. It's a pretty short piece, so I don't think that's a huge deal or really something you could easily fix, but just something to keep in mind in future pieces like this (if you make more).
Also, I'm sure you already knew I was going to say this, but it's the same 3 chords the whole time. It really could've used some kind of change up at some point to keep it interesting, in my opinion.
All that said, I enjoyed this piece a lot, especially how well you got your image for the scene that it's based on across. Keep it up!
Thanks for the review Miyo! I can always count on you for insightful reviews, especially on my orchestral stuff.
The static chords were definitely my electronic side's doing. I'm trying to work on it, but I always end up going with the moment and it usually results in the same chords. Maybe you'll see something different next time.
Although I didn't credit him, this piece was somewhat inspired by Cryburger's piece, 'Blood Wood'. There are reasons for the strange structure of this piece, but I really leave the interpretation to the listener and prefer not to have a set story for it. One way to interpret that section is it being a way of introducing the dark mood. I'm not disagreeing with you on this, I do think it was a bit sudden and loud compared to the rest of the piece, but I just thought I'd point out that there was a purpose in making it that way.
The first twenty seconds were something I added as an attempt to make it longer. Otherwise it would have been 1:57 just like every other orchestral song I've made. It was supposed to introduce the setting or the ambience of the forest, but I think this song could have done without it.
Thanks for noticing the mood! The mood was something I really tried to reinforce. I was a bit hesitant with the horns during the louder section, due to the use of 'lighter' instruments everywhere else. I agree, the pianist would be a bit bored, especially with the same chords every few measures, but luckily there isn't a pianist!
Thanks for reviewing! I'll really try to work what you said into my next orchestral piece. I'm not making any promises, but It'll probably be sooner than you think!
This is good! But not perfect.
-Definitely a tribute to High Score. It's impossible not to hear you channeling it, which was your intention, I guess, so good job.
-I liked the synths you used (at first). They were fairly close to High Score's, but not exact copies (though I do agree they were could kick in a bit more aggressively, even).
-The key change was a nice touch, though I wouldn't exactly call it "very seamlessly done."
-The mixing seemed good to me. I'm no expert on mixing of course, but I didn't notice any issues.
Cons (There are fewer cons, but the first one was definitely an issue for me):
-Okay, you're really kinda pushing it with the similarity to High Score. I know it's supposed to be inspired by them and all, but the chord progression and melody rhythm are alarmingly close and I can literally pick out parts of High Score and see exactly where your equivalent of it is (e.g. 1:36-2:09 in High Score has nearly identical rhythm and structure to 2:02-2:36 in this; the outros are almost identical). I'd love to see a bit more of your own take on the style.
-It's the same synths for all the main drop sections and melody the whole way through. The exact same. It could stand some variation there.
So yeah, this piece could really stand some shaking things up, but overall this is pretty solid work mate. Hope this helps!
Thanks to you're long response dude :3 yeah, so it is meant to be very similar to highscore. The chords and melodies are different, but I can see why you would think it's bad. Thanks for your feedback mate!! <3
I'm pretty familiar with the original, and this is beautifully orchestrated, without a doubt. You used the piano extremely well, in the context of the full orchestra. Your use of layering, especially in the strings, is excellent, and the chord at 1:11 was a wonderful surprise— I would guess you have practice writing real orchestra pieces before...
My only complaint is that the sort of "canned" sound that many orchestral VSTs have is especially obvious in a piece using only orchestra— and especially in a piece that would obviously sound amazing played by real performers. This would undoubtedly be breathtaking played by a live orchestra... not that you necessarily have access to a private orchestra, of course. Anyway, I only took off half a star for that because I so desperately wanted to hear real instruments, but that's not really your fault.
Overall, I'm very impressed, and thrilled that a piece like this can get featured on Newgrounds amid all the dubstep and more dubstep and even more dubstep. I'd love to see what else you can do with the orchestra in the future. Keep it up!
I like this one! I especially liked the piano ending, and the breaking-glass-ish sound as percussion (not sure what it technically is— e.g. at 0:39), which I found somewhat distracting in Nanobyte, felt appropriate here. My main issue was with some of the leads you used (the one in the "chorus" and the whistling one right afterwards)— they felt pretty high frequency and began to grate on me after a minute or so. It was also a bit repetitive for my taste, but that's sort of a genre thing as well as personal preference, so no big deal.
Anyway, good work! Excited to hear more!
This is good! Very good! Even though Gaster would be, like, 800% less threatening if this were his theme.
What can I say about it? Another awesome electro-swing song from you. My main criticism is that some elements, especially the chords around 1:03, were really overpowering, and kind of droning considering that most of the chords' notes were the same (only the bass note changing). Otherwise, great as always! I don't think it was repetitive at all.
Keep up the amazing work! And I can't wait to see how AL turns out, by the way.
Hey thanks man! I appreciate your criticism, I'll work on it next time.
I'm glad that you know AL. I'm still working on it (development is very slow, and I have a really busy schedule). Anyways, thanks :D
Wow. This is really good.
I'm loving those piano flourishes you sprinkled throughout. I also really like those... violin? Violin-ish thing?... solos melodically— they're super interesting.
As AeronMusic said, there was some clipping, but I know how hard it is to master songs made on Apple products loudly, so no huge deduction there. I also wish you had changed up the chord progression in more than one place, but that's sort of personal taste, so whatever.
Anyway, keep it up! Can't wait to hear more originals from you.
sOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS ARE A LEGITIMATE MINORITY AND YOU SHOULDNT MAKE LIGHT OF A SERIOUS GROUP OF PEOPLE CONCERNED ABOUT IRRELEVANT SUBJECTS AND CARELESS PHRASING. UNFOLLOWED AND REPORTED
CHEERS!? Who do you think you are? You don't know me, my struggles. I identify as an icy cold beverage and that cheers, sir, offends me greatly.
Cheers, chap c:
There are some good things going on in this one.
The melody and baseline didn't have the same kind of driving motion forward in some cliché chord progression like I see everyone (including myself) using nowadays until the drop, which was refreshing; then again, I don't have any problem with that kind of directness, so it was fine when you firmly established the chords at the drop. (I know the progression didn't change, but it felt clearer.)
Personally, I wasn't super crazy about the drop in general. Don't get me wrong, it was fine— better than I could do— but it wasn't perfect. There was almost no buildup, so it sorta dropped from the sky for me. I also think the kick should have been more prominent, and just flat out louder. Maybe you could... highpass the... EQ some... okay, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I'm sure you can figure it out. Amazing sound design though, as usual.
I felt like the intro went a bit too long without any melody or baseline or anything, and I really, really wish you hadn't thrown in that one last dubstep growl at the end, but those are minor issues, and sort of subjective anyway.
Anyway, keep up the good work, I can feel the improvement!
Honestly, I sort of knew before posting this that what was said would have been said by someone. Best to address everything now.
About the out-of-nowhere drop: It was an intention based off of the song's somewhat jungle-like theme. I wanted to do something that disrupted the peace and the melody and introduced a sort of high-octane sense of danger and intensity. Akin to a lion attack if you will. You never really expect it, then... bam! Fuck's your shit up!
About the kick: Through my speakers it sounds quite loud, even driving through the mix. But, upon further reflection; that was due to the fact that the kick, contrary to my orignal EQ, was bringing out lots of mids and lows. This most likely changed upon an EQ revision when I thought that the kick was rather... papery, if you will.
About the sound design: Thanks c:
About the intro: Sort of agree, also a bit intentional, however. Again, pertaining to a jungle-like atmosphere; I wanted rhythm to rule over the land (if you don't mind the ridiculous wording of that) and melody to be a little whisper bringing the song onward and allowing it to change.
About the closing growl: I've actually been doing that a lot in tracks. I knew in that back of my mind that it wouldn't be too well received. But, my logic was that I needed something to sort of sign off on a track and make it known that I made it. Also, I wanted something like the VR growlified lionsgate lion. Since I am shit at making things sound like animals, I got lazy and just added another bit of bass. You can hassle me for being lazy... cuz I admit to that in full.
Hey, at least I did something a little unique though. I'm glad to hear that you liked (more or less) it.
(sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, running low on sleep and too lazy to check again)
I did not think this would work at ALL as electro swing... you sure proved me wrong.
I really liked the rhythms of this one, and the transitions to G# at 1:42 and to 3/4 at 2:50 was quite cool. That said, I have a couple tips on what to work on, in my opinion at least:
-The thing that irked me the most was the dissonance in either the 2nd or 3rd measure (not sure how you set it up)— the second chord that's played, at any rate. The original is modal to some degree, I think... or maybe just melodic minor, or something... anyway, that measure or two (the IV chord) in the original is major, which you kept in the melody (diatonic with G major) but didn't keep in the chord, which was G minor. Wow, I just spent a lot of space trying to describe that, sorry... hopefully that made sense. Anyway, it repeated a bunch of times, and nothing else was dissonant... I thought I should point it out.
-In general, it felt kind of sparse... I don't think you ever had more than 3 types of instrument, or like 5 different individual instruments playing at once. Some more layering would add a lot in my opinion. Also there are a lot of other ways the piano can play besides that ragtime-y, choppy sound... just sayin'.
(Also pretty sure the piece is originally in 6/8, FYI... it's a subtle difference)
But anyway, I did really enjoy it, just to be clear... I just don't usually find it very helpful to find a bunch of lists on things I don't need to work on for my own music, so I try to avoid it in my reviews.
Keep up the good work, man! Seriously!
Ahhh thank you so much for the lengthy review, I'm glad you liked it~
I did not understand all of them (I'm a noob, okay?), but yeah I get you. I knew I should've changed the chords, but eh... I'm not that good at writing songs. I also don't know what any other instruments will the song if I layered them. And sorry if I didn't know the difference between 3/4 and 6/8 songs >.<
Thanks again. I did find these tips very helpful. I'll consider these the next time I make an electro swing song.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.